On New Year’s day I had the honor of speaking to The Celebration, a wonderful church in Santa Fe, New Mexico, that I was involved with for many years. I knew as soon as I learned that I would be speaking on the first day of 2012 that the title of my talk was Transformation, but when the morning came I still didn’t know what I was going to say. A million profound things had gone through my mind, but none of them were coalescing into a coherent twenty minute talk and I was getting worried.
Just before the service began I went to the restroom, and as I looked in my own eyes in the mirror I heard myself say, “This is for you, Brother John.”
Now, Brother John is an aspect of myself, another lifetime of mine, that I was reminded of a couple years ago. He lived some five hundred years ago as a brother in the Catholic Church in France, and he was a great orator and well loved by the people. But when he spoke out against some of the abuses in the church, the church he loved turned the people against him, and he went away and died soon after in shame.
For many lifetimes since I have been trying to find my voice again, and the courage to use it. When I visited France last October I felt my own energy so very strong in the halls and stones of the grand cathedral of Chartres, and I knew that it was time to bring Brother John home and that my upcoming talk at The Celebration was, for me, about reclaiming his voice and his courage. And yet it was a surprise to find myself looking in his eyes in the mirror on Sunday morning.
As I took my seat and the service began I suddenly knew what I had to do. This was to be Brother John’s talk, not John McCurdy’s talk, and I needed to let him speak. I needed to let him reclaim his own voice.
My first thought was, “No way! I can’t possibly get up in front of all these people and channel!” But I knew better than that, and I knew that it was now or never, so when my time came I stood up and allowed Brother John to tell my own story of shame, reunion, and transformation. It was my first time channeling before a live audience, and when I finished I knew that a profound integration had happened within me. And, though many of the people thanked me and told me that it had opened something up within them too, I owe the people of The Celebration a debt of gratitude for giving me the opportunity to reclaim another part of me.
The recording quality of Brother John’s talk is not great, and I don’t have time right now to manually transcribe it, but you can listen to it here. The introduction is by my good friend Ken Shaw, who was there five hundred years ago and was one of the few who stood by me in that time. Thank you Ken, and thank you to everyone at The Celebration!